Those that know me well enough have put up with my thoughts, opinions and ideas about abortion. You more than likely are just about to exit this blog….hang in there with me. I have asked myself over and over again why this certain subject abortion causes so much division, especially between us women. We must ask ourselves why this is. The staunch for/against, pro choice/pro life and the unwillingness to lay down our armor for a brief time and enter into real dialogue with no agenda, just a bit of honest humility.
“Abortions are like tattoo’s, each having it’s own story. Some choice to hide it, some as a badge of honor.”
abort-ed wom-an 1: one of the class of women whose lives have been permanently altered by the experience of abortion 2: a woman who experiences self-alienation because of her ambivalence over terminating an unwanted pregnancy 3:a woman who, after an abortion, feels aborted herself, physically, psychologically, socially, and spiritually.
I merely have proposed that instead of being a step forward for women’s rights, legal abortion is the most destructive manifestation of discrimination against women today. The abortion mentality is true sexism. Yes, I know this is a stretch. But just hear me out.
Easily available, socially acceptable and legal, it is easier than ever for men to sexually exploit women. When promises of love end in a pregnancy, men are able to manipulate women into abortions so as to free themselves of unwanted commitments. They may say “it is the sensible thing to do,” or resort to threats of some kind, “If you don’t have an abortion, I’ll leave you.” The end result is the same, a woman faces the risks and guilt of abortion alone. If a woman resist such coercion, her exploiter can simply deny all personal and financial responsibility for the “unwanted” child. ” After all sweet heart, you could have had an abortion.” So the abortion “choice” is just another area in which men condition their love and respect on the basis of a woman’s obedience to them. Yes, I know that some of you are already getting mad, ” I didn’t do it for him, it was my decision.” Let us keep pushing through this.
Further, subjecting women to manipulation and threats of abandonment, the abortion mentality attacks the unique value of female sexuality. This comes about by pro-abortion population control zealotry which portrays abortion not as an alternative to childbirth , but as preferable to childbirth. In an attempt to “de-sex” women, separating us from our reproductive potential which has eroded our natural pride we enjoy. Being able to conceive and bear children- a creative wonder that no man can duplicate. Instead of praising this unique potential we have as women, the abortion mentality belittle it, or at best, dismisses it as unimportant. I suggest that no other public policy has ever attempted to undermine a creative capacity of one half of its population. Yes, I know we are capable of many great achievements besides bearing children.
Women are being abandoned by society which has no patience for a “problem” unique to women, an unplanned pregnancy. Instead of receiving the love and support needed to cope with this challenge, women are offered the easy way out, the “quick fix,” the cover up, abortion. Abortion is a make shift solution, superficial and potentially dangerous answer to the problems of a pregnant woman. Abortion is the “cheap love” that society offers as a substitute for costly care and honest commitment. Relationship, genuine sacrificial concern for another.
“Feminist have won women the right to having both family and career, the abortion mentality causes women to feel that they must “plan” children around their careers, because “unplanned” children will ruin their lives. Abortion is defended with arguments that women are restricted by the limits of their careers, their education, or their finances. Faced with this, the sexist abortion mentality says women aren’t “strong” enough to survive an unplanned pregnancy, or an unwanted child or endure giving it up for adoption. Instead of helping women be strong, independent, and capable of handling their lives in spite of the social prejudices against “problem” pregnancies, the easy solution of abortion causes women to be weak, dependent, and made to feel incapable of dealing with unexpected challenges. This tells women that they must depend on abortion to solve their problems for them. Just as in the traditional, male-dominated social order, the abortion mentality says to women what they cannot do, what they cannot handle.
Simply stated, abortion has been sold to women under false pretenses. We have been lied to, manipulated and exploited. For so long we have been silent, too ashamed to speak out, too ashamed to admit our errors
Something I wasn’t aware of, a doctor who performs abortions is obligated to only inform the patient what he or she thinks they should know about abortion. Abortion is the only medical procedure where the physician and staff have a “constitutional right” to withhold information about the risks and possible after effects of the procedure. This longstanding practice of limiting information available to abortion patients was made a “constitutional right” by the Supreme Court’s 1983 Akron v. Akron Center for Reproductive Health decision and later upheld in Thornburg v. ACOG.
At best, abortion clinics, avoid telling women the truth in order to minimize the natural feelings of fear, doubt, and guilt among other emotions. Creating a comfortable “safe and easy” atmosphere to minimize stress in the hopes of accelerating the recovery process. At worst they avoid explanation for fear of losing a paying customer. Yes, this was part of my experience. It is a fact that must be faced as ugly as it is.
It is my deepest feeling that women are being told lies and are being taken advantage of during an extremely vulnerable time. Being “guided” to choose abortion for the convenience and profit of others. This type of deceit only serves to further add to the psychological and emotional after effects of abortion. When unexpected feelings of loss, regret or guilt arise the aborted woman is caught unprepared. Feeling betrayed, manipulated and deceived even more as she realizes that abortion was not her only choice. There are support groups, alternatives available of which she had not been informed. She is right to ask, “Why didn’t anyone tell me this before.” or ” I wish I had more time to think about all my options.” Why did abortion seem the only way out?
If you, my dear reader have made it to the end of my different sort of death talk, I leave you with this to consider. I suggest that the greatest threat to true “feminism” is the belief that we as women by securing the legal right to choose to kill our own children, encouraging other women to do so, making it socially acceptable, passing this legacy down through generations and so much more. Doesn’t this somehow undermine our true essence as life givers and has placed us on a perilis , destructive path with long ranging consequences some experienced now some yet to be. Yes it is powerful, ultimate power to choose between life and death. Yet in order to be accepted into or included in this supposed hierarchy of women one must make a choice as part of the initiation? I am not a feminist in the current climate of our time. I prefer to be called what I am, a woman. And that alone is powerful.
I wish you peace and blessings. I thank you for listening to me. My heart is in the right place.